Back to the Beginning

     Soon I will be starting my last year of college as an undergraduate student. The big question now is, "So what are you going to do after you graduate in May?" I always like to respond with, "That's a very good question. I don't know what exactly where or what I'll be doing, but I do know that God has it all planned out." It's crazy to think that this time next year I could potentially be teaching in my very own classroom! Exciting but definitely crazy. Life just seems to buzz on by somedays without us realizing just how fast it's going. People grow up, they move to new places, and they go on their own life journeys to places far and wide. Although some may not venture too far from home, sometimes they are the ones living the most for Christ.

     Living for Christ is an interesting thing. First of all, it's different for everything because He has a different plan for each of us but there is a similarity that we all share.. in order to follow Christ, we must be obedient to follow Him and go through the doors that He opens. He has called us all to share His love and free gift of salvation but that will look different for all of us. Some may grow up to be preachers, while others will have to be living testimonies of His love and care for others because due to laws, they are not able to speak out about Him. But just because we can't say certain things doesn't mean that we can't spread the love of Jesus to all of those that may come across our path.

     This semester I get the opportunity to student teach! It's going to be an intense semester but I know that God has a plan and His plan is perfect. Although some circumstances may not be what we want or what we think are best for different situations, in the end He knows what He is doing and trusting Him is the only thing to do. I am very nervous about the lessons and how things are going to go but I have to keep on reminding myself that God knows what He is doing and this isn't the first time He has done something amazing and it sure won't be the last.

     I will do my best to share funny stories about my student teaching experiences and the fun things that happen throughout this semester. :) Keep your eyes on Him and no matter what may be going on.. always choose joy!

                                            - Emily :)

Planes, Trains and Automobiles!

     There are many forms of transportation in our society. A long time ago to travel by boat was the way to get to places across the pong and it took many weeks. Now we can get on a plane and get to our destination (most of the time at least) the same day. Depending on the type of transportation you take will determine how long your trip takes. It could be a couple days of driving or a multi-destination flight or a scenic train ride to get you to where you need to be. Although there are many ways of going we always tend to want the easiest route. I won't lie, getting in a plane for a couple hours is way better than sitting in a car for a couple days. God's plan is like taking a trip, there are different kinds of transportation that can determine the type of trip and how long it takes to get somewhere.
     We want to get to where He wants us immediately and our journey there to be easy breezy lemon squeezy but here's a reality check, sometimes things don't happen how we want or how we think they will but if they happened how we wanted then that factors out God and it makes the journey ours and not His. I'm not saying that your journey will be easy and you'll get through it without pain because you might but what I am saying is that no matter what is going on, always look to God and trust that He knows what He's doing, even when you think taking a train would be much better than taking an automobile. There might be times when you feel alone or like no one else understands you and everything that is going on just seems like a sporadic mix crazy situations but always remember that God has a plan and He knows what He's doing. So no matter what form of transportation you're on right now, don't give up but look for opportunities around you to share the love of Christ.
     I love two things about flying; the trip is significantly shorter than driving and spending time among the clouds. But turbulence scares me half to death (I've seen Lost and there is no way I want to get stuck on a deserted island with "the others"). Although I get scared and generally have a serious "come to Jesus" moment when the trip gets bumpy, I still love being in the clouds. Look for the good in all situations and remember that God has you in His hand and most of He loves  you dearly.
     I hope that you all have a wonderful week and are enjoying the journey that God has you on!

                                     -Emily :)

just a short and sweet thought :)

     Here's a little thought:

"God will not send us out on any journey for which He does not equip us well." -Alexander Maclaren 

     That means that everything that we are going through is for a purpose. I know that we can sometimes get burned out or tired of the same thing and wonder why God has us do certain things but it's for a reason; and He is in charge. We are simply a vessel that He chooses to work through. So, if you are wondering why you're going through something remember that it's just a season and He's got everything under control. And plus everything passes through His hands before it comes to us so if that isn't comforting I don't know what isn't! He's got everything under control, always.

     Choose joy! -EmilyAnn

This too shall pass... and hopefully SOON!

     I got the brilliant idea to take a summer class. Yea why not? It would be DE no matter when I took and I thought it would be a good idea to take it now. Wow, I sure have some stupid moments. The absolutely last thing I want to do right now is Microeconomics homework. It's summer! That means I should be a lazy college student reading a stack of books that I haven't been able to get to because of homework. But I have to get it done. So onto the point of the post.. well besides avoiding homework for a while :)

     You might have something this summer that you aren't enjoying or that you are upset about. It could be boredom or something a little more dramatic and *gasp* is it a summer job because you don't work during the year!? Lol, I don't know what it is or why it is horrible to you but here's a hint of encouragement.. it will pass. Soon it will be over and you'll look back and laugh at yourself for being so silly and dreading it like the plague. Granted soon may translate into a year or a month depending on your situation but it will be over and you will eventually go back to living a normal and fun life, well hopefully.

     So use your time wisely and make time for fun things to help you get through the annoying parts. I recommend reading but that is my favorite thing to do. Get lost in a book and take a journey so another place and enjoy the break from whatever is frustrating. Well have a great day I need to go take a test then do more homework and then reading :)

                      Ciao, EmilyAnn

The thing about airports.

     Airports are interesting places. You see all kinds of people. Some are crying because they have to say good-bye to a loved one, others are excited because someone they care about is finally back, there are families that aren't paying attention to their kids and then there are other families who have their kids on a leash to keep them close (hey whatever works, right?); oh and the best is when there is a big tour group, yea they are always interesting. But then there is another group and I like to call them the wanderers. They kinda just wander all over and don't settle into one area and don't generally have someone there to hang out with because they are going solo. I like to think that there are many different types of wanderers though.. because I am one of them ;)
     Flying alone has become my life since I went to college. It's rare that I fly with someone else and last time that happened we only had one connection together (it was a teary goodbye, but it was my parents so that's definitely justified). I enjoy it to an extent because as much as I wonder about others I wonder if they think about where I am going or whether my end destination will be an exciting one or a sad one. So many people in so many walks of life airports are miraculous places and it's a gift that I get to be part of it and that makes me feel extra special. I honestly didn't think I would be flying today.. I have been waiting for my passport to get here and it came way earlier that what it should've.. like an hour before I had to leave to get to the airport! It was definitely a God-thing! :)
     The thing about airports is that we are all here for the same reason, we are going somewhere. That is exciting, it means that something new is coming.. a new adventure! Oh adventures are always exciting no matter what they are because that means that God is working in your life and it's such a blessing to be used of God. We aren't worthy, oh my I am not worthy at all. We have our moments of selfishness and that is not right at all. God calls us to be selfless not selfish. Lately I have been very selfish and upset that things have not been going how I wanted but what I forgot that this life is not my own. Maybe getting hit in the head was a good thing, get knocked back into reality.
     I hope that wherever you are and even if it isn't an airport that your journey is not only exciting but it is what God wants for you and not your own selfish plans. Think about it, if we put everyone else first and they did the same our world would change dramatically! I know that seems like it's a bit far fetched and impossible but hey a girl can dream right? Lol and this girl dreams A LOT! ;)
    Have a great day! I am going to finish enjoying my venti soy caramel macchiato and then go take a trip through the clouds. :)
     Always choose joy!! -EmilyAnn

Draw a Map, Find a Path, Take a Breath, and Run!

     I have started this post about 5 times. Ridiculous, I know but if you knew me then you wouldn't be so surprised. You see, I like to write (I really do!) but I have a hard time organizing my thoughts and staying on topic. For being such an organizational junkie this really shouldn't be so hard but it is. So here it goes and bear with me because there is a big guarantee that this is bound to be scatterbrained... a lot like my own brain. ;)
     The title of this post is from a song by the band He Is We (if you haven't heard of them go check them out) and it was my summer song last year. I interpreted it as going beyond yourself and running to what is next, don't give up but go. The only way to find out what happens next is to flip the page and see what happens. In our minds it doesn't seem that easy but reality check... it is!! I have to tell myself this often so don't be discouraged. If you do have this whole stepping out on faith thing figured out, please share your insights and how you are never ever scared. I believe that no matter who you are, you're still scared at times. You may be able to hide it better than we can but you like everyone else has fears.
     There isn't a cure to stepping out or a way around it. We will be scared and we will wonder about all the "what ifs" that could maybe possibly come our ways but I have something simple and yet profound to tell you: everything that comes into our lives goes through the Father's hands first. He has a plan and even if things just seem crazy and chaotic (how I am feeling lately) then don't give up but remember that He has this and He knows what He's doing.
     I'm not entirely sure where I was going with this, I guess maybe I just needed to make sense of some things in my life and maybe someone that reads this will know that they are not alone. Side note: no matter who you are, or what is going on, I guarantee that there is Someone that understands. His name is Jesus and He knows what you need and He wants to help you. So if you are having a hard time figuring things out then take it to Him because trust me.. He knows what He's doing.
     So, draw a map, find a path, take a breath and run... run to HIM!
                         Much love, EmilyAnn
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed because the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." -Joshua 1:9

Getting there.

     Here comes a confessional.. I love to read. *gasp* I know you're all shocked ;) LOL! My favorite author came out with a new book and for all my fellow book lovers out there you understand just how exciting that is. I kept it set aside to read after finals and here a week later I finally started reading. You see, it's exciting to read a new book (especially an anticipated one like this one) but at the same time I have this problem with once I start reading I can't stop until it's over and once it's over well it's done and that is sad. But in the end the journey is always worth it.
     Life is a lot like that. Things come our way that we are looking forward to and all too soon it ends and the event is over. But what about the journey? What about getting there? That is the important part. That is where we learn and that is where it all happens. In a book (or even a movie) you follow a character(s) through a journey where they have to go beyond themselves to reach something. In life we are always reaching for the next thing and forget to stop and enjoy what is going on.
     I am looking forward to my last year of college starting in the fall and also flying home for the summer but there are a lot of things that are going to happen between now and then. Between hanging with friends as well as family and seeing my little cheepie chirpies get awards Sunday night and reading a plethora of books, it will be hard to just enjoy life and not think about the next thing. There are so many things to look forward to and this journey will be exciting to say the least. :)
     Ciao! -EmilyAnn

Come Sail Away

     That moment when you realize that it's finally here, the end is nigh and it's time to sail away for awhile. Now, I don't mean literally sailing although someday I would like to do that (shocker I know being that I am not that much of an adventure nut), I am referring to going away and leaving for awhile. Sailing away to another country seeking some relief and a break from this theatrical people call college. I enjoy college I really do, especially that I only have one year left but there are times when it all just becomes too much and I need a break.

     So here it comes, the break is coming and God knew that it needed to come now! Isn't it great how He knows when we need certain things? Like how He reminded me that if I got up earlier this morning I could go get a triple venti soy carmel macchiato before I go to work. And now that I have coffee pumping through my veins and Alex Goot singing to me and one of my besties is hanging at work with me, life is pure bliss :) 

     I hope that you all have fun plans for the summer filled with happiness and at the end will be able to walk away with many memories every time you look back. And even if things aren't looking to be fun make the best of what you have and make the best of what you do have.

     Well, I'm off to start some summer reading. Time to set sail!! Ahoy ;)

Back to Reality!

     Well friends, spring break is over and it's back to reality. It is so hard to focus and stay on task when there are so many other things I would rather be doing but I am going to do my utmost best to work hard and not check out yet! One of the classes I am taking this semester is "Life of Paul" and it's my one and only online class. I'm not a big fan of online classes (especially when there aren't any due dates) because I tend to forget about them and tell myself that there are more important things to do for my regular classes that have specific due dates. But you see even though he says there aren't due dates.. well they're there, hidden in the syllabus that I have been avoiding pretty much all semester.
     A plus to being in Bible College is that I get to read the Bible for homework. Great homework I know!! :) For my delightful online class we have to read all of Paul's letters and books that he wrote. In case you don't know what all he wrote, it's a large majority of the New Testament. I could be upset about all that reading but I have found joy in it realizing that I get to spend a lot more quality time with my Love! Yea pretty awesome I know :) I am most definitely the type of person that HAS to write something down whenever something happens so I will remember it and then can tell someone about it later (well depending on what it is! lol), basically journaling is a dear friend to me. So congratulations, I am going to share some things that have been a "slap-you-in-the-face duhh" moments lately for me!
     Okay so being that I am a scatterbrained creature (there are pros and cons to that but I won't get into that right now) I started to read through in the order in the Bible but that went out the window and I have been going all over the place and not really in any specific order.
     Let's start with Acts 10:25-26. So Cornelius sends for Peter to come and when Peter comes in verse 25 it states, "As Peter was coming in, Cornelius met him and fell down at his feet and worshipped him." Then in 26, "But Peter lifted him up, saying, 'Stand up; I myself am also a man.'" Okay so those verses are pretty self explanatory but I read them and stopped and thought through them and applied it to my own life. I am going to use Beth Moore as an example. She is a VERY godly lady who has been gifted in women's ministry and God works through her in amazing ways! But when I hear her speak and I am touched do I praise God or Beth? I should be praising God but there have been times when I got caught up in the whole drama of it all and began looking to Beth and seeing just her and not looking deeper to see that it is really Christ speaking through her. It's something to think about and apply to your own life. We must always remember to praise HIM and not man. We are mere humans that fail and sin but He is perfect and He can do great and mighty things when we allow Him to and we praise Him and Him alone.
     Now onto a somewhat different topic.. Today I was reading in Galatians and well a lot of things caught my attention but one thing in particular struck me that I have seen lately. Our truth is rooted in Jesus Christ and what the Bible says, I think that any Christian can agree to that. Now if that is true, why do we get offended whenever someone honestly tells us something in our life that goes against the Bible says we should do? Aren't they trying to help us grow in our relationship with God? There are times when people say things intentionally to hurt us or bring us down and that is wrong on their part and God will deal with that but I am talking about the times when we're going against God and they are confronting to us about that. We should be thankful that someone cares enough to help us and encourage us but more times than not we get offended. I am also included in this and it must change, and soon. Sometimes we think that the issues that we are dealing with now are not in the Bible and that they were not dealt with in those times but they were! In Galatians 4:16 Paul says, "Have I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth?" He was speaking truth the church and they became offended when really they should have been thankful that he cared that much to encourage them and wanted them to be the best that they could be for God to do great and mighty things!!
     Well that is the end so breathe easy ;) I hope that you can find a bit of encouragement and know that no matter what God loves you and He wants you to be the best so He can use you and work through you to do great and mighty things just like Paul wanted that out of the church in Galatia!! Stay in the Word dear friends and always go to Him first!
     Ciao, EmilyAnn :)

Just when you need HIM.

     I know that I am not alone in this because we all struggle with getting overwhelmed or stressed in the course of our lives. I don't know about you but it happens all too often for me. Maybe it's because there is too much going on or the fact that I have perfectionist tendencies or maybe it's just that I still have to learn to stop worrying and how to trust Him better. Whatever it is, there are days when I get overwhelmed and am ready to give up and throw in the towel. It's those moments when God reminds me that this is His story and He knows exactly what is going to happen and I need to stop trying to control everything.
    I'm not saying that times aren't going to be tough because we will all go through tough times, I'm just saying that there is someone that is there to hold your hand and take you through those times. To you it may seem worse than what it seems like to others and that is why we can't put our trust in people but in God. People will fail, we can't be everything for someone.. even when we try really hard, it just isn't possible. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to be there for people because we should be encouraging them to go to God because in the end it's all about Him and not all about what we can do.
    Recently my pastor said in a service that the person that we go to the most is the person that we trust the most. Who do you go to the most? Do you go to a best friend, a parent, a mentor or a special someone? OR do you go to God? I can honestly say that I do go to Him but more so I go my momma. She is the person that I always want to talk to when things get tough, complicated or when something amazing happens. It isn't wrong that I want to talk to her, she is a godly and amazing woman of God, but it is wrong when I talk to her before talking to the Author of my life. After all doesn't He deserve to come first in all things? I think so.
     This post may seem a bit spread out and scatterbrained but hey I did write it ;) (hehehe!! I'm pretty much always scatterbrained) I just have so many things that I want to say that I don't know how to put it all into one happy little post. God loves you and He loves me. He wants to work through us to do great and amazing things but we have to be willing to be used even when that means that He has to refine us to be what He wants. So when you are having a bad day and want to call that person that you always like to talk to, call on Him and tell Him what's going on and trust that He has a plan and that you aren't going through this for the "fun" of it but for a reason and purpose to bring Him glory.
    -EmilyAnn :)

Please, no more options just tell me where to go.

    The adventures of being an education major are absolutely endless. A couple nights ago I was told by some 2nd grade girls at church that I would be a really cool teacher and then my little Kindergarteners thought the world was ending when I wouldn't let them have some Smarties before their parents got there. I love working with kids. Not only do they bring a lot of diversity, there is never a dull moment and since my entire life could be based on that statement (the one about never a dull moment) it works well.
    It's nice always to have options because that keeps things different and new but seriously there are times when I just want someone to pick for me so I don't have to deal with picking and choosing amongst all the things that are available. For example, you walk into Old Navy and they have a table of sweaters that are all on sale and there are four that like you like. You can't get all of them because that would be weird to have four like that because they are too much alike and not all those colors are gonna work for ya. Therefore you proceed to stand there for a long time weighing the pros and cons about each color and trying to decide which one is best. Then eventually take one to the dressing room and it looks really awkward but you can't figure out whether it's the color or the sweater, and then you go back to decide whether to try another one. Decisions are all around us and they continue to surround us for the rest of our lives. What to get, where to go, and what to do?
     We can sit and think about things but in the end what should we choose? If we choose one thing then are we missing out on something greater or is what we choose "right?" This is something that has been on my mind a lot lately and it seems that there isn't anything that anyone can say or do to help it because in the end it's my decision. No one makes decisions for us, we have to make them for ourselves and as hard as that is to realize it's true. No one makes you steal a cookie, in the end you are the one that makes the decision.
     So amongst all the decisions and things that come up in our lives who do we go to whenever we have questions and concerns? We go to the One that can help us. We pray to Him and ask for guidance and help whenever we are unsure of what to do. One thing that we can always count on is that no matter what we do, He always has the controls and when we surrender it all over to Him we don't have to make the decisions. Now I'm not saying that He will come down with holy fire in Old Navy to tell you which sweater to choose but He will give you peace in the decisions that we face. Whether you're trying to decide what to study, where to go, or what's next look to Him and let Him guide you because in the end, it's only His opinion that matters.
     Happy Tuesday to all!! -Emily :)

When the world starts spinning and change starts happening.

     You know we always talk about how change is coming and things will be differently and how that is always a horrible thing, but is it really all that bad? Think about it, sometimes when you get things out and can change how things are things get better. Talking about things that need to talked about can help someone feel better and mend something that was broken or discover what was lost. That isn't always the case though. Sometimes when people get busy change occurs and friendships lose their strength. It can be a slow fade and then one day we wake up and everything has changed. So, what'a a girl to do?!
     As a female, I can honestly say that things often seem more complicated than what they really are. Trust me, generally we make things a way bigger deal than what they really are. I remember when I was little my dad would say, "Emily, don't go making mountains out of molehills." I think of that phrase often whenever I get stressed or start to freak out about something or when I think I might be blowing something out of proportion. There will be times when friendships dissolve or turn into mush but is that because we stop trying or is it because it wasn't a good friendship to begin with? That is something that we have to look at instead of how we feel about the situation.
     There will be times in our lives when we have to grow up and get over how we feel about something and just do what we're supposed to do. Whether the change that has to occur for you is good or bad, always remember that we serve an audience of One and in the end only His opinion of us matters. There are days when I struggle with that and have a hard time remembering the real reason why I exist and I get focused on what people think and say. Here is a little encouragement that I came across today: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." -2 Corinthians 4:16-18.
     Now that I think over the things that seemed like the end of world yesterday, today I have realized that no matter what God is in control and He is bigger than the moments that makes my world spin out of control. He is my dream come true and even when I feel as if I'm in the depths of despair He's the Prince Charming that is always there for this damsel in distress. :)
    Have a beautiful day! -EmilyAnn

Stressed Mess.

     I am such a stressed mess right now! I am leaving Tuesday morning for a conference in Colorado and and we are driving there.. It's going to be long and I am dreading it but also looking forward to it. Currently I know I need to get to sleep but all I want to do is pack everything nice and neat into my pink suitcase and pray that I stop freaking out.
     See, you would like that by now I wouldn't freak out anymore because I used to travel constantly for two years and then the following two years I moved to three different countries and traveled to many other countries. I guess you could say I am out of practice but also when I traveled then I knew what I was getting into and didn't need dress pants, jeans AND a formal dress. Yes I know it's crazy.
     My latest dilemma is whether I am taking too much or not.. I feel like what I have is okay but at the same time I feel like I have too much. It's all around annoying and extra tough because no one else that is going with us has anywhere near the same personality that I do. I am a very much so introvert and I hate being unprepared. Most that are going are fine going off on their own and meeting new people. Me? Yea, not so much.
     Enough of my whining.. it's time to be certain about God and step into uncertainty. Well I am off to hopefully get some sleep because I am exhausted and in desperate need of some shut eye.. Nighty night all. Have a great day tomorrow and shine like the Son for ALL to see!!

                      Later, EmilyAnn

Let the Love Rain Down!

     Love, love, love!! Lately everywhere we go we are surrounded by hearts and love! With Valentine's Day almost upon us I want to send some encouragement out into the world and let you know that you too are loved. You may think that no one cares or that no one understands you and that you'll never get to experience the love that only exists in movies and books but dear reader, you are loved. It may not look like the love that you want because it isn't what you think real love is but the fact is that someone loved you so much that He died just for you.

     True love is unconditional and uncontainable. It has no demands or ultimatums, it is there no matter what. I know that for us single people sometimes we can let Valentine's Day become the most depressive and unhappy day ever but don't be like that! Don't let the world tell you that just because you don't have a valentine mean that you aren't loved. Here is my gift to all the lonely hearts out there, John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life."

     I hope that you will know that no matter what there is someone who loved enough to die for you. Have a happy heart day and let the love rain down! I encourage you all to spread the love and show others how much they are loved. They may not feel as if they are loved and cared about but dear reader, don't let someone else go through life feeling like no one cares about them. Have fun, smile, send some cute valentines, but most of all remember that you too are loved.

     Let the love rain and pour down!! -EmilyAnn :)

Love, Dreams and Trust

     There comes a time when we just can't take any more homework and have to get away. I have always been a hopeless romantic. The girl that dreams all the time of what will happen and how life might be. I haven't really ever thought through my wedding or things like that, but I have always given the idea of love a lot of day dream time. So this weekend I worked really hard and got time to watch a few chick flicks. I watched a few of my favorites :) "Sabrina," "Serendipity," and currently am watching "Sleepless in Seattle." All of these are in my top favorite list and it seemed fitting to watch them.
     Throughout all of these movies there is a common denominator, love. We all want it. We all dream of the day that we will fall in love and life will be just great. For some, love comes just when we don't expect it and for others it has been staring at us right in the face for a long time and then we finally come to realize that it's there. Everyone's story is different, everyone will have a different kind of happily ever after that is unique and theirs.
     Dreaming is good, it helps us realize that there is a grand life that might happen. But we have to be careful in our dreaming that we don't forget who the ultimate dream Maker is. God has a beautiful love story for us and all we have to do is let Him lead and guide us to what He wants. This isn't always the easiest process but it definitely is the most rewarding process. I mean really, would you rather have something that you come up with or something that is a million times greater than you can imagine? I'll go with the million times greater happily ever after.
     Don't lose hope friends! God has a plan, so trust Him.. no matter how hard it may seem.
                  Goodnight, Emily

Wait, it's Saturday?!

     Spending my Saturday working on homework is definitely NOT what I had in mind for this weekend. Here is a little letter I constructed to help you know how I feel.

     Dear life, please come back and send homework far far away. I miss you and wish you were here because you are much more fun than reading textbooks all day. Sincerely, Emily

     Go away homework! :(

Flyin' Solo.. but not really ;)

     If I got a dollar for every time someone asked, "So Emily, do you have a boyfriend?" I would be one rich girl. It seems like that is all people can talk or think about. I mean don't get me wrong it would be nice to have a guy that would bring me flowers, call me just because he wanted to hear my voice and sit through cheesy chick flicks just so we could hang together but that isn't what it's about. It isn't about having someone to make people jealous or having someone there so you don't feel lonely because let's face it; you can be married or dating and still feel lonely. It happens all the time, it has become an epidemic in our world today.

     So what's a girl to do? With the media and people saying that we need to be independent but at the same time saying that we need a guy to be there for us when things go wrong because we can't handle anything on our own how are we supposed to deal with life? That's just it, neither of those ways will work because we have to be satisfied with who we are in Christ. I may seem a bit preachy but trust me now and you can believe me later. Being in a relationship just so you can have someone there to hold your hand and text you every now and again isn't worth it. Being with someone who doesn't care to get to know you isn't worth your time girls!! Hold out! Wait for the one guy that God has for you, please! I promise that he will be well worth the wait.

     There will be times when you second guess yourself and the enemy sends along a really cute guy who seems to have it altogether and that what God has in store just might not be what He "really wants for you" but c'mon we all know that He knows best. So in this waiting period how about getting to know the One True Love that cares so much about you that He sent His only Son to die just for you.

     A lot of people come to me and talk about their lives and what is going on. I have always felt like I have a sign on my forehead that says, "Come and talk to me!! Tell me everything!!" because no matter what people come and feel like they can talk to me. I am not saying that they can't all I am saying is that it happens often. So often that I have been praying about getting my Masters in counseling because obviously there is something there. Since all of these people come to me to talk I have come to realize that I cannot under any circumstances give them bad advice or information, therefore, I must give them information straight from the Word. But how can I do that if I don't know the Word?! You can't friend! You can't share the love of God without knowing what it is.

     I pray that you will never feel alone and that if you are reading this and you feel like no one cares, you'll realize that there is someone who cares and His name is Jesus. You are His and He loves you more that you will ever know! Talk to Him. Get to know Him and see what He has in store for you. Who knows it could be a million times better than your wildest dreams. :)

     Well, I need to get back to lesson planning! Have a wonderful night and don't every give up!! 

-EmilyAnn

Discouragement.

     I wonder if professors know that their words mean so much to me it hurts. I got a 75% on my unit plan from last semester (just got it back from her today though) and she says that my plan was too vague. I have SEVERAL lesson plans to write this weekend and seeing that annoying little unit plan with "Vague." at the top does not help my self-esteem. So what's a girl to do? Cry? So not worth it. Complain? Yea well that won't do anything. Move on? That seems like the only possibility.
     I hope that I will be a great teacher one day but at this rate my lesson plans will keep being horrible because I just can't write down what I want to do on paper. It isn't that I can't write because I love to write it's that I just have so many ideas and no clue of which to use first and what to include and what to not include. BLEHHHHHH!!! lol :)
     Well I guess there is no sense just sitting here telling cyberspace about it, I might as well face my fears and get it done! Have a great Friday :) I'll be back soon... probably since I'll be avoiding my homework but it's all good ;) Ciao!!

One of "those" days...

     I tend to be an upbeat and happy person. It is a major part of my personality. I like to have fun, joke around and just enjoy life but lately that person seems to be lost. When I'm with one of my friends we joke constantly because if we don't then we are liable to start crying and that would not be good.
     As creepy as this sounds I miss being able to go buy a pint of ice cream and sitting at my brother's grave and just talking. Before I came to college I went there and "talked" to him several times and although a large majority of the time it was me crying out to God, those were some of the best times.
     It isn't that I thought Derek could hear me, it's that he doesn't know me. He doesn't know how sinful I can be and that no matter how hard I try I just want to give up. I want to drop out of college and just give up. I know that this is just a storm that I have to face and that it'll get better but right now the storm is raging and I feel utterly lost and unsure of what I should do. Just when there is chance to breathe and get away from the homework my professors assign more. It's only two weeks in and I have cried more lately than when my ex boyfriend broke up with me and trust me there was a lot of crying involved in that.
     So what's next? What do I do with one of "those" days? Well just like every other day. Go to sleep and then tomorrow will be a new day with no mistakes in it yet. And then I'll go to class, try my best although I feel like I am not understanding anything. And maybe tomorrow I won't cry.
     Stay strong friends, Emily

"Untitled"

     You know that moment when you have everything figured out and you learn to live with some relationships that are broken and just accept that they will never be anywhere near what they were before? Well in case you don't, I do. There are some people who you just think, "things will never be like before" and we make ourselves believe that it's okay for things to be like that but it isn't. It is like having a grudge against someone. Holding them responsible for making your life terrible when it's really you who is making your own life terrible.

     Why am I saying all of this? Well it is because I got an email from someone that I have needed to email but they were the bigger person and after a couple years things are finally reconciled. At Passion there was a session about letting go and moving on. Until we really let go of something we will feel like we are in bondage. That night I gave it back to Him. I told God that I was done being mad for what happened and that I needed Him to help me to move on.

      Now, a couple weeks later things are all settled and things are (hopefully) back to how they were before. Which will be nice because every time we ran into each other it was very awkward and there was an unspoken "weirdness" that happened.

     So, if you are struggling with something and you are holding it against someone. Take it to God and let Him handle it and find peace from that situation. God has a plan for you and it will be great :)

     Well I need to get some sleep because I have class at 8:30 :( Night!! -EmilyAnn

Saber or Conocer?

     There are so many things that I love about the Spanish language. One of the things that I love the most is the two verbs: saber and conocer. They both mean "to know" but in different meanings. Saber means to know something, like facts or things. But conocer means to know someone, like really know someone to know who they are and what they stand for.
     Lately I have stopped and thought a lot about who God is. Do I really know Him? Yes of course I know (saber) Him but do I know (conocer) Him? You see that is what it's really about. We can know all kinds of facts and ideas and know things about someone or something but that doesn't really mean that you know them.
     We cannot truly know someone if we don't know spend time and get to know who they are. A person's true colors come out in times of instability, chaos and confusion. There are many people that have made themselves become experts on hiding. Hiding not only from the chaos of the world but from the people in it as well. I sometimes feel like that kind of person. I have no problem with people knowing me in a saber sense but when it comes to conocer there are may more factors and things that come along with that. Why are people like this? Fear.
     Fear can make people do some crazy things. Someone who may seem like they "have it altogether" may really be full of fear and what I call fraidy cat syndrome. This syndrome deals with people who run away from everything that even remotely seems scary to them. It may mean that they bungee jump of cliffs and skydive on a regular basis but they still are scared of the smaller things, the things that seem trivial to most people; things like relationships and past experiences.
     So if you are one of those fraidy cats and need someone to tell you to get off you tush and do something let me be the one to tell you to get up and go be you because no one else can be you for you. God loves you, He loves you so much that He sent His Son to die for you and he wants to be in a conocer relationship. Get to know Him today and let Him guide you, don't let fear hold you back!
     Have a wonderful Saturday!! -EmilyAnn :)

Day Two..

     Well today is the second day of the semester and it is going to be long. BUT I will have hope in HIM! :) We all live really busy and crazy lives, that is just reality. Although each of our "busy-ness" may seem crazy and others don't see it as that we all need to face it, everyone is busy.
     But during our busy lives it is always good to find some relief, a time where we can get away from the norm and escape for just a few minutes. I do this through reading. I love to read! If I could I would read all day everyday, but that probably won't ever happen. Anyways, I have been reading a fiction book lately and it's about fear. It may sound kinda silly but it's nice to see how "someone else" gets through it so I can be assured that I can get through it too. God has been showing me so much lately that being scared or hiding in fear doesn't hurt anyone but myself. It doesn't bring anyone down but me and it holds me personally back from a life of excitement and joy in Him.
     Yesterday I was having a "poor me" day and feeling bad for myself pretty much all day. I drug myself off the couch and went to church knowing the whole 2 minute drive there that I needed to ask Him for forgiveness for my attitude (which I did don't worry). I thought that once I got there the sermon would of course be about good attitudes because I most definitely did not have one.. But the sermon ended up being about Jonah and how he was fearful of going to Nineveh and then how we was mad that people got saved because he didn't want them to because he didn't think they deserved it.
     It hit home. I just sat in my pew reflecting on my life and how I say I am willing to go anywhere but I always associate that with going outside of the country but here it the thing, God wants everyone to be reached with the Gospel; and that includes the United States. I do not know where God has called me to but for now He has called me to here. He has called me to my country and I need to start listening.
     My challenge to you is the same challenge I am giving myself: No matter where you are and no matter who is around you, talk to them. Talk to them about the Gospel because no matter how dirty or messed up or broken they are, there is a Savior who wants to heal them and bring them to Him.

     Have a fabulous day!! -EmilyAnn

I-don't-know-landia

     In the land of "I don't know" there are so many things that come up. I don't know what I want to wear to work or what book I want to read next or even what to blog about but what I do know is that I am in love. I am in love and I hope that love never ever leaves. I hope that the love stays for as long as I shall live. I opened up today to a friend that I have never opened up to before and it was nice. It was nice talking about what is going on and not feeling like I have to hide anything from people and not let people see who I am.
     I am a girl who doesn't always know what to do and can be very scatterbrained and usually doesn't stand up for herself, but you see I have come to learn that I am done being her because she really isn't who I am. I have learned to stand up for myself and stand up for the truth of God. So stand up, be who He wants you to be and don't pretend to be anyone else.
     Ciao, EmilyAnn

A 2012 challenge

For a moment we get taken to a place that is unknown and untouched. We go somewhere that we never thought we'd see, a place where we can hardly recognize ourself. But then we realize that the person we see staring back at us in the mirror was not us but someone else; it is Jesus.
It's not our reflection but His and that is when we realize that we are created in His image. For a long time I thought that being created in his image meant the physical attributes but it doesn't necessarily mean that. It means something much deeper, it means that we look like Him because of characteristics that we have. When we act like Christ, people will see Christ.
I believe that if we want people to see Christ radiate through us we need to learn how we can be like Him and we do that through reading His Word. You see a lot of people want to have the double layer chocolate cake with thick frosting and sprinkles but they don't want to do any work to get it. How can someone become an astronaut I they have never been taught about the stars and galaxy? They can't. Therefore we cannot expect that one day we will wake up and be super Christians that look just like Christ and didn't do anything. We have to get to know Him and take time to read His Word so we can know more about who He is and what He wants for us.
So, let's let this be our challenge for 2012; that we will face the reality that we have to do something to have a relationship with God and that everyone who sees a will not see us but Cheist in every little thing we do.
Ciao, EmilyAnn